


I'm not fine

by Crossbowdixon



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), the hundred - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Minor Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, Minor Monty Green/Jasper Jordan, Monty Green - Freeform, The 100 - Freeform, jaspsr jordan, jonty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 03:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6687022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crossbowdixon/pseuds/Crossbowdixon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(One shot- season 3)</p>
<p>Monty and Jasper go back to the drop ship... their true feelings are revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not fine

"How can you just be fine?" Jasper roared hitting Monty on the shoulder pushing him backwards in the process, Finns ashes spilling out with his messy movements. 

"I'm not fine, Just became I'm not drinking myself into a stooper every night doesn't mean I'm not screwed up." After spending every day worrying about Jasper, wondering if he was dead in a ditch somewhere or worse Monty finally broke. No one knew about the nightmares, the 2am screaming and the constant exhaustion from trying to do anything but close his eyes and come face to face with the innocent lives he had taken from Mount Weather. He didn't want to break down in front of Jasper, he had tried to be the sane one out of the two. "We had no other choice." 

Jasper looked at him for a moment his dead eyes studying his old friend then he turned and let out a string of uncomfortable manic laughter as he lifted up the pot of ashes. "You hear that Finn he's innocent." Jasper continued laughing. "None of us are innocent." His grin was cat like almost evil under the shadows of the night. 

"Float you." Monty changed his tone unable to withhold the anger and heartbreak within him. For a moment it looked like something he had said had effected Jasper. "For three months I've watched you torture yourself and everyone around you, mostly me. But I'm done being your punching bag either you pull yourself together and get on with your life or you fall apart alone." 

Jasper didn't argue back, make a snide comment or even start laughing like Monty had anticipated. He stood and took it, Jaspers silence was unnerving and he felt like he deserved every word. "Are you done?" He blinked forcing himself not to lash out. 

"I just want my best friend back." 

"He died that day too." 

"No he didn't, I know you the old Jasper the Jasper I loved he's still in there somewhere. Stop thinking that you can just continue existing like this people care about you I care." 

"What did you say?" Jasper cut him off before he could continue. 

Monty breathed out exhaling a sigh as his eyes hit the floor, he focused on the dirt beneath him momentarily wondering if it had been mixed with the ashes of the 100. 

"I said I know you are in there somewhere." He repeated. 

Jasper had stumbled close enough for Monty to hear his heat beat rattling inside its cage. Neither boys understood what was happening, it was unclear who made the first move but when they intertwined whatever this was could only be explain in one way: furious. 

The kiss was not entirely a kiss it was all teeth scraping over lips and hands in hair, messy and needy. To say either boy hadn't thought about this moment before was a lie but this wasn't anything like imagination had prophesied for them, they were desperate for this intimacy. 

The moment Monty could taste the bitterness of alcohol on his breath he drew back sharply. Jasper still shaken by the sudden moment panted for breath then froze. It was clear he was looking at Monty, not a look of anything in particular just fully taking in the person before him for the first time in three months. Jaspers eyes weren't the blank echo of a person they normally when someone woke him from a unconscious nap of self hate, his eyes were alive, Monty recognised this look it was something he could never forget, the day they landed on the ground. 

"Not like this, just- you are drunk." Finally Monty broke the silence, he felt his hands curled into fists as he memorised the feel of that final button he pushed in Mount Weather and shut his eyes, it had taken everything in him to break away. 

"This doesn't change anything." Jasper spat, his clouded emotions became more rapid splintered with anger and he didn't understand why. "You still killed them, you killed them all." 

"I'm not going through this again, we can fight when you are sober." Monty reminded him. 

"No, whatever this is, me and you were done." He shut him down eyes scanning the drop ships remains as every scream, every moment he had spent torturing himself came flooding back, this felt like being impaled by a spear all over again. 

As Monty walked off into the night alone he wondered if it had ever occurred to Jasper that he wasn't the only one to loose someone to the Mountain that night.


End file.
